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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Apr 7, 2023 1:47:08 GMT -6
I don't understand my witch. How can you make sex jokes, but I can't!?!? I honestly think that you two need to have a talk about this. If this is upsetting you this much, you need to let her know and be able to work something out. It's just, I'm trying to be a decent percent here. Like, WTF!?
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kingkevzilla
Posts: 3,207 Likes: 460
Last Active: May 16, 2024 6:44:25 GMT -6
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Post by kingkevzilla on Apr 7, 2023 4:41:58 GMT -6
I honestly think that you two need to have a talk about this. If this is upsetting you this much, you need to let her know and be able to work something out. It's just, I'm trying to be a decent percent here. Like, WTF!? I know, but you shouldn't have to walk over egg shells to do so.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Apr 7, 2023 8:12:10 GMT -6
It's just, I'm trying to be a decent percent here. Like, WTF!? I know, but you shouldn't have to walk over egg shells to do so. It's fucking stupid! I can't say sexy, bu she can. >_>
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Post by kylor on Apr 7, 2023 8:28:04 GMT -6
I felt the way you did. What you need to evaluate is this: do you feel happier around her, or when you're not around her? If she is behaving towards you in a way that makes you feel unhappy then you need to get out, fast. The person I deeply cared for and would have given my life to care for and protect for the rest of my life kept acting in a way that made me out to be a bad person and I knew I wasn't actually doing anything really wrong, I was just being my plain innocent self. It got petty a lot of times, like I'd make a joke and she'd get offended by it and treat me like garbage for at least 2 days for it, even after my apologies. It doesn't even have to be a joke, one time I simply said hello to her and she acted like I just killed her pet dog or something for the entire day just for saying hello! Quite a lot of times I got called every swear word and bad name in existence, a lot of it uncalled for (even online trolls couldn't reach her level of name calling when they get at their worst, that's how bad it was). But, for me, there were a lot of times where my gut and mind were telling me something wasn't right, but because I loved her so deeply, I decided to follow my heart and forgive and move forward, hoping for things to change/get better by me adjusting myself to suit her expectations (which were always impossible to reach because she would constantly change/move the goalposts). For a lot of things I chose to follow my heart over my mind/gut, to continue with her instead of leaving her because I didn't really want that, I just wanted her to treat me better, but she never could. I did a count and the most amount of days she could actually go without attacking me for no reason was 3 days. That was the record, it was just constant like I was always her enemy. In the end she got to a point where she openly told me she had cheated multiple times and I was astonished that I didn't actually care when she told me because I was so worn out and tired from all the constant shit she gave me. At that point it was a relief to have a reason to be free of her and since then I haven't been stressed, haven't really been called anything terrible at all and don't feel sad/upset every day anymore. Over time my feelings just started to fade wihle with her but there was nothing I could do to stop that because it's impossible to love someone who treats you like shit and acts nicer to strangers they meet than to you. And trust me, I tried every option and path I could think of to change things. I tried doing things one way, then a different way, trying out different things to see if there's any change I could make that would work but the outcome was always the same: I'd be the bad person, the enemy and called every name in existence.
The only change that worked was leaving her. It was the last resort if all else failed, which of course, it did fail.
My only regret was not following my mind and gut and choosing my heart instead. Always follow your gut and mind, because those are logical and are the best decisions for you in the long run. Take it from someone who's been there through the worst of it.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Apr 11, 2023 4:33:50 GMT -6
Yeah still happy around her. I find it kinda cute when she gets mad, actually. But it is no laughing matter because she was traumatised as a child. Which is why she acts the way she does. I'm just trying to understand her better. Because I don't want to hear some of the sexual stuff either. Sometimes she reveals stuff that should be private. But she gets offended when I say words like, "sexy", sex", "porn", even though she is way worse than me when it comes to random sexual talk. So I'm trying to understand that mentally.
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Post by kylor on Apr 11, 2023 6:57:43 GMT -6
Fair enough, as long as you don't feel like you're changing yourself too much to fit her standards and it's all civil then that's a good thing. Although it is safe to say it is an issue on her end, but you did say she admitted this so knowing is half the battle won.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Jun 5, 2023 20:36:41 GMT -6
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 6:40:11 GMT -6
Going through some depression right now. Not going to go through all the details, though. All I will say is that it is at a point where you can't rely of family or friends anymore. Makes me want to go like, my apologies family and friends. Now, lets not see each other ever again. Not angry, just brings in too much pain.
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kingkevzilla
Posts: 3,207 Likes: 460
Last Active: May 16, 2024 6:44:25 GMT -6
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Post by kingkevzilla on Aug 13, 2023 8:21:12 GMT -6
Going through some depression right now. Not going to go through all the details, though. All I will say is that it is at a point where you can't rely of family or friends anymore. Makes me want to go like, my apologies family and friends. Now, lets not see each other ever again. Not angry, just brings in too much pain. I'm sorry to hear this, you kneed anything?
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 8:25:57 GMT -6
Going through some depression right now. Not going to go through all the details, though. All I will say is that it is at a point where you can't rely of family or friends anymore. Makes me want to go like, my apologies family and friends. Now, lets not see each other ever again. Not angry, just brings in too much pain. I'm sorry to hear this, you kneed anything? Nah, just a little chit chat here and there to keep my sanity. Awful feeling not knowing who to go to anymore.
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kingkevzilla
Posts: 3,207 Likes: 460
Last Active: May 16, 2024 6:44:25 GMT -6
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Post by kingkevzilla on Aug 13, 2023 8:34:45 GMT -6
I'm sorry to hear this, you kneed anything? Nah, just a little chit chat here and there to keep my sanity. Awful feeling not knowing who to go to anymore. I not really good this, have you tried to talk with a professional about what you're going through? I know that might not be ideal, but I think that will help.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 8:51:03 GMT -6
Nah, just a little chit chat here and there to keep my sanity. Awful feeling not knowing who to go to anymore. I not really good this, have you tried to talk with a professional about what you're going through? I know that might not be ideal, but I think that will help. Same. Not good at it either. People often think I don't care. It is not that. I'm here, I'm listening. I just don't know what people want me to say is all. Anyway, trying to find metheds to seek help still.
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kingkevzilla
Posts: 3,207 Likes: 460
Last Active: May 16, 2024 6:44:25 GMT -6
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Post by kingkevzilla on Aug 13, 2023 9:01:08 GMT -6
I not really good this, have you tried to talk with a professional about what you're going through? I know that might not be ideal, but I think that will help. Same. Not good at it either. People often think I don't care. It is not that. I'm here, I'm listening. I just don't know what people want me to say is all. Anyway, trying to find metheds to seek help still. I'm in same boat, mostly due to the autism. I'm good at listening, but helping. I'm scared shitless that I might screw up and say something that would make things worse. I'm here if you need to talk to someone about this or just some random movie or whatever. I know that isn't always ideal, but it's the best I can do, other than say try to talk to some one about this and don't let the it grind you down.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 9:22:39 GMT -6
Same. Not good at it either. People often think I don't care. It is not that. I'm here, I'm listening. I just don't know what people want me to say is all. Anyway, trying to find metheds to seek help still. I'm in same boat, mostly due to the autism. I'm good at listening, but helping. I'm scared shitless that I might screw up and say something that would make things worse. I'm here if you need to talk to someone about this or just some random movie or whatever. I know that isn't always ideal, but it's the best I can do, other than say try to talk to some one about this and don't let the it grind you down. I'm not scared myself per se. I just don't want to fake it.
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kingkevzilla
Posts: 3,207 Likes: 460
Last Active: May 16, 2024 6:44:25 GMT -6
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Post by kingkevzilla on Aug 13, 2023 9:37:55 GMT -6
I'm in same boat, mostly due to the autism. I'm good at listening, but helping. I'm scared shitless that I might screw up and say something that would make things worse. I'm here if you need to talk to someone about this or just some random movie or whatever. I know that isn't always ideal, but it's the best I can do, other than say try to talk to some one about this and don't let the it grind you down. I'm not scared myself per se. I just don't want to fake it. Same, I want to try and help and be honest at the same time. It's just I'm worried that what I say might not be the right thing to say.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 11:18:08 GMT -6
Gonna stop drinking for awhile. Need to be mentally focused for the time being.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 13, 2023 14:27:33 GMT -6
Starting to think the pandemic gave me PTSD. NASTY argument I had with family and friends yesterday. I never acted that way with them before. I don't think they want to speak to me ever again.
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 15, 2023 10:40:04 GMT -6
Gonna give up drinking for right now. Can't be drinking when your metal health is not in a good state.
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Post by kylor on Aug 15, 2023 11:43:36 GMT -6
I don't particularly drink alcohol too much at all. Maybe a little at Christmas but that's about it. But yes, it's not good to turn to alcohol in a poor mental health state, all it would do is make you feel worse and amplify your negative thoughts, sort of like a symbiote suit (spider-man reference).
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Post by CyberpunkCentral on Aug 15, 2023 12:03:33 GMT -6
I swear to God I think of Bully Maguire when I drink some vodka. Which is why I have to quit completely QUIT. Forever. Beer is fine because that is made differently, but I'm giving that a very LONG break as well.
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